Top Ten Tuesday: One Woman Babysitting Club

As a hardcore fan of The Babysitters Club (where time never advances and the local parents have collectively decided that a group of tween girls are better equipped than they to do the bulk of the child-rearin’), I spent my elementary school years just counting down the days till I’d be old enough to babysit. Thanks to my conveniently-aged little sisters and my stellar reputation as a responsible and well-behaved (read: nerdy goody two-shoes) young lady, I was able to secure my first babysitting job when I was 11. For three hours on a Friday evening, I watched my sisters’ friend and her little brother while their parents went out for dinner; we ate pizza and watched the Disney Channel (which was extra awesome because my parents did not spring for such primo entertainment options at our house) and I was paid fifteen dollars for the pleasure!

I was hooked. The BSC had not led me astray: babysitting was everything I dreamed it would be! And with my winning combination of work ethic, wide open availability (come on now, do you really think a teenaged me had better things to do than babysit?), and low rates (and by that I simply mean that I never had the courage to TELL clients what to pay me and would just accept whatever cash they would give me), I had no shortage of jobs. I babysat several times a week throughout junior high and high school, and I am so glad I did. Not only did it fill up what would have otherwise been some seriously boring weekends while simultaneously ensuring that I always had plenty of spending money (helloooooo, Forever 21 shopping sprees!), but I also learned a lot about kids and parenting along the way. Interacting with so many different families led me to many little epiphanies throughout my babysitting career, and now that I’m a parent myself I think about these life lessons more than ever. Allow me to share some of them with you…

The top ten lessons I learned as a teenaged babysitting addict (and by that I mean I was addicted to babysitting…not that I was an addict who babysat):

10) Some parents are way too trusting. It didn’t faze me at the time, but now that I’m a parent, I have to question the logic behind leaving an 11-year-old in charge of any number of children of any age. Or even a 13- or 15-year-old. How badly did these people need a night out?! I’m not sure I would even let an 11-year-old hold my baby unsupervised, much less be in charge of his bath. Then again, I am insane.

9) Some parents are way too over-protective. These were the worst families to sit for. Listen, if you make me come over two hours early so you can watch me interact with your kids before you leave and then call me every thirty minutes when you finally get out of the damn house, perhaps you are not ready to leave your children with a babysitter. The irony, of course, is that I totally fall into this camp. But I do recognize it and I’m trying to relax!

8) Every family has different rules and routines, and the kids all turn out fine. The rules and routines were different for every family I sat for, from the super strict (“they MUST finish seven bites of their vegetables before they are allowed to have their graham cracker for dessert, and bathtime needs to be at exactly 7:30 followed by precisely 2 books before bed; here’s a six-page list of more rules and regulations…”) to the don’t-give-a-shit (“here’s some money for pizza; kids, listen to Maureen-or-whatever-her-name-was; see ya at midnight!”) and everywhere in between. There are countless ways to run a household, and there’s more to parenting than what bedtime you set.

7) Kids don’t care about money. I encountered no evidence to suggest that the richer kids for whom I sat were any happier/smarter/better behaved than the ones from less well-to-do families. Yes, every kid wants the cool stuff they see in commercials, but that’s just human nature — who doesn’t want a Power Wheels? As a general rule, kids are neither idiots nor assholes: they know they can’t have everything they want, and they appreciate what they do have (the latter may require some reminders, though).

6) Most kids are very adaptable and don’t mind having a babysitter. In all my years of babysitting, I can only think of a handful of times where my charges showed any more than a passing sign of sadness that their parents weren’t there. Granted, this could just be because I was such a fantastic and fun babysitter (and I unquestionably was), but I think the truth is simpler: as long as the babysitter doesn’t totally suck and there’s pizza and/or TV to fill the void, kids are FINE without their parents. I definitely remind myself of this every time I leave Bubba (but I still worry, of course — refer back to #9).

5) Every meltdown/freakout is not a big deal. I distinctly remember one stressful job when I was 14 where the four-year-old completely flipped out when it was time for bed. We’re talking full-on tantrum mode: kicking, smacking his little brother, refusing to cooperate…it was a nightmare. I took it very seriously and when the mom came home a couple hours later, I relayed all the details, fully expecting her to be highly concerned about the situation. She could not have cared less! Her response was something along the lines of “mmhmm, yeah, that happens sometimes. Well, see you next week!” And this was a good, attentive mom — it’s not that she didn’t care about her kids’ behavior, she was just wise enough to accept that little kids flip out sometimes and that’s that.

4) Kids are weird. ALL OF THEM. They ALL do weird stuff like eat nothing but hot dog buns and table salt for dinner (true story) or spend all day pretending to be horses in a horse show (another true story). Don’t be ashamed of your little freak!

3) Kids have big mouths. As a parent, you have two choices: either never talk about your divorce/financial crisis/medical issues anywhere near your child, or just accept that everyone in town is going to know all about it. Kids have NO filter and will not hesitate to tell the babysitter (and presumably anyone else they encounter!) all about how Mom doesn’t like Dad’s new girlfriend but Dad said too bad and the girlfriend is sooooooo pretty and nice anyway so why doesn’t Mom like her? (True story)

2) Sibling relationships are vital. I have five sisters myself, and we all get along great. Sure, there were normal arguments and fights about everything from what to watch on TV to who’s being super annoying while someone is trying to read a goddamn Babysitters Club book in peace, but we never stayed mad at each other and were each others’ biggest allies and best supporters. It always shocked and saddened me when I encountered the (luckily rare) set of siblings who truly could not get along and missed out on all the benefits of having a built-in friend and teammate right in your own house. If you have more than one kid, do everything in your power to foster a good relationship between them!

1) If you’re a super control-freak about junk food or TV, your kids are just biding their time until they have the opportunity to go nuts. These kids were the most pathetic and annoying bunch. They were like drug addicts, asking if I had candy in my backpack and begging to watch 10 minutes of the nightly news with me after bedtime. I’m not saying you should keep a stash of Blow Pops next to your kid’s bed for them to eat while they watch HBO till two AM every night, but simmer down a notch. You just know these kids are pissing off everyone in school with their incessant offers to trade their bag of carrots for a cookie at lunch time, and when they finally get the chance to eat junk food at a birthday party they’re going to gorge themselves into a diabetic coma because they know they won’t get the chance again anytime soon.

Either that, or they’ll freak out when you try to give them birthday cake because they have never had sugar, and you will be denied the classic cake-smashed-everywhere first birthday photo opp:

(Or maybe he was just pissed because I made him wear a flowery bib belonging to his cousin.)